Breaking through Betrayal during COVID-19

Holli Kenley, M.A., MFT

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When we think of betrayal, most of us associate it with our personal relationships. However, with our lives changing at a more rapid and unstable pace accompanied by a myriad of ensuing injuries and injustices precipitated or exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, people are feeling betrayed on all levels: financially, legally, professionally, relationally, politically, spiritually, etc.  While some individuals are able to bounce back rather quickly, many more struggle with the paralyzing effects of betrayal and are not able to move forward.

What I am proposing is innovative and inclusive. In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I specialized in the areas of abuse, trauma, addiction, grief and loss. Although there are many valuable interventions that bring effective healing and growth for our clients struggling with these issues, I often felt as though I was missing something.  Also, I consistently felt challenged by the different kinds of betrayal that my clients were experiencing, and I felt frustrated by the ineffectiveness of both the knowledge and tools available to address betrayal injury. What I have come to learn is that betrayal injury is unique: it is often buried beneath a myriad of other presenting disorders/symptoms; it is frequently missed and dismissed; and left unattended, it continues to manifest with increasing destructiveness and devastation.

After spending several years observing clients, analyzing case studies, and synthesizing qualitative data, I have brought together a new perspective on betrayal and a recovery program tailored specifically for injury from betrayal, of any kind. 

Theory of Practice

In addressing recovery from betrayal injury, given the initial work of Breaking through the Betrayal, I will incorporate a blend of two theoretical approaches in its assessment and intervention.

• 1.       Client- Centered Therapy:   In working with all kinds of betrayal, it is vital to establish trust and rapport, join with the client, establish unconditional positive regard, and remain open. Following the client’s pace is critical in working through the three States of Being and in navigating their levels of exposure to their betrayers and/or their betrayal environments.

• 2.       Cognitive –Behavioral Therapy:  Cognitive – Behavioral Therapy is an important methodology to utilize in unhooking negative or destructive underlying assumptions and beliefs associated with the three States of Being, and in establishing or redefining new truths or beliefs. Cognitive-Behavioral exercises are also an integral part of addressing triggers, releasing of emotions, boundary setting, and beginning the process of reclaiming one’s truths and righting one’s self.

Program Description

• What is betrayal? When our clients say, “I feel so betrayed,” what are they feeling and why? And how long and to what degree will they feel this way and why? Based on client observation, case analysis, and qualitative data, the “Breaking through Betrayal” workshop will introduce participants to a new perspective on betrayal examining it as a singular issue. At the same time, participants will be challenged to widen their therapeutic lens, viewing “betrayal” as a universal experience by comprehensively examining its connotations and applications into our lives. In addition, although “betrayal” may be the presenting issue, it is frequently embedded within other presenting disorders such as depression, addiction, grief/loss, and anxiety and is exacerbated by behaviors such as codependency. The “Breaking through Betrayal” workshop will offer participants new thinking into “betrayal’s” anatomy, facilitating 1) understanding degree of injury, 2) assessment of presenting symptoms/ manifestations, and 3) implementation of effective interventions.

Goal and Learning Objectives:

Goal: To present a new perspective on the issue of betrayal allowing for more effective assessment, intervention, and treatment of betrayal injury.

Learning Objectives:

• 1.       Describe three distinct explanations of betrayal and apply them to a myriad of examples in client experiences.
• 2.       Discuss at least one definition of betrayal’s States of Being; Name and explain the three States of Being – Confusion, Worthlessness, and Powerlessness; identify four of their respective manifestations and symptoms; discuss two effective interventions for each.
• 3.       Recognize that through an analysis of betrayal’s anatomy, participants will be able to articulate the two principles of degree: degree of investment, trust, or belief and degree of occurrence and explain four ways in which each principle is related to symptom duration and severity.  
• 4.       Describe a person’s relationships with betrayal presentations; and discuss four effective treatment implications, especially in regard to grief and co-dependency.

Breaking Through Betrayal During COVID-19 Power Point.pptx

Breaking Through Betrayal During COVID-19 - Exercises.pdf

Inside the Glass Castle article.docx

Holli Kenley interview

Breaking through Betrayal during Covid-19 video

Breaking Through Betrayal during COVID-19 Eval Summary.xlsx